The Secret to Character Development

A Writing Exercise for Unlocking Character Motivation

Jun 02, 2024

Most people just want to be loved.

Story exists in the space between what the character thinks will get them love and what will actually get them love. So many decisions—both in life and fiction—are motivated by a desire to be connected to others, to be seen, to simply be loved. Characters are most dynamic when we understand how love motivates their goals.

Teaching middle schoolers taught me everything I needed to know about character motivation. It was the worst decision I’ve ever made—taking a job as a middle school teacher. I don’t like children. I have a difficult time connecting with them because I don’t have the patience to make space for their emotional adolescence. Holding space for their emotional immaturity gives them an opportunity for growth as they evolve into emotionally mature people. Logically, I know children are simply learning how to navigate their interior lives and the externalities of the world we live in. But in practice, I just don’t have the patience to help them on this journey. I knew all this about myself, and I still took a job teaching middle schoolers.

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It was an entirely selfish decision. At the time, I had just finished my MFA, and I needed to move back to Korea to finish research for my novel, You Will Survive This. Since I’m a US citizen, the easiest way for me to get a long-term visa in Korea was to get a job teaching English to middle schoolers. If you’re reading this and are abhorred that I was teaching children when I don’t even like kids, don’t worry. Within two months of starting the job, a recruiter in the game industry found me and offered me a job as a game writer. I quit teaching at that academy almost as soon as I started.

A photo of Kat Lewis, a Black woman, wearing a white button down and blazer. She is also wearing huge round glasses and a black face mask. Next to the photo is a hilariously perfect caricature drawn in pencil by an eleven-year-old. — How I looked that day vs. how my student drew me. It wasn’t all bad 😅

Even though my hagwon teaching career was short-lived, my time at that school left an impression on me, and I’ve been thinking about my experience there a lot lately.

When I was teaching here in Korea, I was working in one of the wealthiest districts in Seoul. Many students were the children of celebrities and C-suite executives of major corporations. There were so many behavioral problems in the classroom—a lot of over-the-top bullying and attention seeking. Attention was gold, a currency for these kids. They measured their wealth, their sense of self in how much attention (positive or negative) they received. This might be a common problem at a lot of middle schools, but at our school in particular, it felt excessive.

As a kid myself, I also attended private school. Many of my classmates were the heirs to obscene fortunes, and you didn’t need a degree in psychology to see what was going on. The misbehaving kids didn’t get enough attention at home, so they acted out in the classroom, misbelieving that any attention—even negative attention—will make them feel connected, loved even.

Teaching these students taught me a new truth about life: most people just want to be loved.

A lot of bad behavior can be explained by a misbelief related to love. This revelation got me thinking about the bad managers I’ve had in my career, a lot of whom made decisions based on what would make people like them more rather than what would make them effective leaders. I also thought about other people in my life that I’ve had conflict with, and I considered how their behaviors, the ones I perceived as frustrating, might be an attempt to acquire love (or attention, connection, recognition, whatever you want to call it). This thought experiment summoned a surprising amount of empathy for people I wasn’t inclined to feel empathetic toward. In the end, this realization changed my approach to character development.

Whenever we sit down to read a story, watch a TV show, play a narrative video game, we’re seeking an emotional experience, a transformation from one emotional state to another. The protagonist is our vehicle for this experience. To be emotionally transformed by a protagonist, we first need to empathize with them. This epiphany about love’s connection to motivation helped me discover a new way to develop characters.

9 Guiding Questions for Character Development

Most people just want to be loved. That means characters are most relatable when their ultimate goal is tied to love. Here’s a writing exercise that will help you explore your character’s relationship with love and how love motivates their decision making.

Instructions

Set a timer for twenty-five (25) minutes, and free write your answers to the questions below.

I recommend writing by hand if you can. Writing in a handwritten notebook is a less formal experience than writing at a computer. For me, writing by hand feels more like play, and I’m more likely to take risks and discover new directions for my story when I’m working in a notebook rather than at a computer.

Your goal is to keep your hand moving until the timer runs out. If you get stuck and can’t think of what to write, draw a spiral on your page until something comes to mind.

A photo of Kat’s notebook. The page is covered in hand drawn spirals of various diameters. — Spirals in my notebook

I learned this writing practice from Lynda Barry’s book, Syllabus. I highly recommend reading this book if you’re a teacher or looking to add low-stakes writing exercises to your writing practice.

Love & Motivation: A Writing Exercise

What does your protagonist want to win, stop, escape, or retrieve by the end of the story?
If your protagonist achieves this goal, what kind of love do they think they will receive as a reward?
1. Familial love
2. Platonic love
3. Romantic love
Which character(s) does the protagonist think will give them this kind of love if they achieve their goal?
Why does the protagonist believe that this character does not love them as they are now?
Why does the protagonist believe that achieving this goal will get them love?
How does achieving this goal actually prevent them from getting the love they want?
What behaviors (actions, goals, etc.) would actually get them the kind of love they want?
Why is the protagonist terrified of doing these behaviors instead of pursuing their goal?
Why is the protagonist terrified of transforming into the person they need to become in order to get the kind of love they want?

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